Our Secret "Weapon" in This Dystopia
We have something they can't even fathom
Friends, we’re going to seek out some medicine together today. This life of ours is often hard. We often suffer. We sometimes wonder why so much of our life here on Earth is the way it is. So in the spirit of the Artemis II astronauts that have been inspiring so many of us humans in the past couple weeks, we’re gonna marvel at the miracle of it for a while today.
Together, we’re gonna seek out the magic that is often hiding behind the most mundane, simple moments. We’re gonna dance together. We’re gonna fan the oxygen onto an ember for wild and unpredictable and transgressive and unboundaried solidarity with each other, and see what happens.
Read on….
For You: Today’s Main Course
My friend Betsy recently left Minneapolis for a few days.
You know what she told me when she got back?
As she re-entered the city, she immediately felt the heaviness in the air here, like a thick blanket of fog.
The trauma. The grief. The sadness. The anger.
All of these things have been released into the air again and again lately, here in Minneapolis… and we haven’t had enough chance to metabolize, heal, and/or release hardly any of it.
Most recently, there was the violent federal occupation of Operation Metro Surge, in the past few months.
Just a few months before that, there was the massively and widely traumatizing shoot-up of the opening Mass of the school year for Annunciation Catholic School, with two of our city’s kids dead… and countless other young ones injured physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. SO many adults the same.
Just a few months before THAT, our sense of collective safety — and the sanctity of public service — were completely shattered, when two of our state lawmakers were ambushed and shot in their own homes in the early-morning hours, a state senator and his wife and daughter seriously injured… and a beloved, longtime legislative leader murdered in her home, with her husband and dog.
And even before THAT… we still hadn’t really recovered from the pandemic and the global uprising for racial justice that literally burned through — and emotionally and spiritually bowled over — our city in 2020.
We have some collective healing to do here.
And that is on top of everything else happening in our country… and worldwide. Wars. Genocides. Domestic violence. Racism. The existence of both billionaires and copious amounts of humans who can’t even eat enough. Lack of inclusion and justice for disabled folks. Transphobia and its cousin, homophobia. And more.
Look around, and it’s easy to feel like giving up.
Everything is just too hard.
There’s just too much suffering.
People can be so awful to each other.
Everywhere we look, there’s de-humanization happening…
… when we know, for sure, that every single human being deserves respect, and dignity, and solidarity, and care, and food and shelter and all their other basic needs met.
We also know they deserve something else important:
JOY.
And here’s the thing about joy.
Joy is easy. Joy is natural — one of the most natural things for us human beings. Joy is, in fact, often one of the most durable results of spending meaningful time truly connecting with other human beings. But it is also easily accessible within ourselves too, when we let go… and focus on things we love…
…and LET LIFE MOVE THROUGH US.
Joy is our birthright.
Joy is for all of us.
ALL of us.
Yesterday, I met a new friend, Beth, for coffee at a neighborhood cafe. I thought I might be there about an hour. More than three hours later, after we had shut down the place and then spent plenty time sitting on the bench outside the cafe, we were wrapping up and saying our goodbyes, after having covered so much ground together… and experienced so much compounding joy:
There was a bit of venting about frustrating coworkers first… which then opened up our hearts for the good stuff.
We talked about our shared work in philanthropy and fundraising.
We talked about our personal histories, with honesty.
I seriously enjoyed my chai latte, one of my absolute favorite drinks.
We processed Operation Metro Surge together.
We met a quirky woman with a long, loose, white pony-tail — who clearly hadn’t bothered with a bra under her tank top and was introduced to us by her jet-black, fluffy little pup called “Juju,” who wandered up to us and demanded our attention. Juju enticed many pets and scratches from us… and even insisted on climbing into my friend’s lap at one point… and there were lots of smiles, as the woman and Juju stayed and gabbed with us far longer than I would have expected, given that they were mid-walk when they encountered us.
At one point, a dad walked by with his little infant strapped to his chest, in facing-out mode. I waved to the alert and curious youngster first, and then to the dad. He came over to chat for a bit too, and we attempted to interest little babe in Juju. Juju tried, but babe seemed a little… befuddled. I looked him right in the eyes and said: “Welcome to Earth, little one!” Dad laughed, and I asked him how old babe was. “Tomorrow is nine months!,” Dad said. We ooohed and aaahed at the accomplishment of both papa and little one, to get this far together.
Perhaps the street the cafe is on is a popular route to the neighborhood lake, I’m thinking? Whatever it was, we saw dozens of people passing by us, as we sat there — jogging, biking, walking, with pets, with strollers, having conversations.
In classic form for a Minnesota Spring, this was one of the first sunny, warm days post-Winter, and everyone had seemingly come out of the woodwork… and seemed to be feeling energized and full of life.
My friend and I soaked it all up.
I’ve been feeling like I’m in the after-glow ever since.
Friends, joy is ours.
We can find it often — fairly easily.
And you know what?
The ones starting and escalating wars? Or shooting up churches? Or invading cities and terrorizing and/or kidnapping anyone who has too much melanin in their skin? Or hoarding billions while their fellow humans starve and struggle? Or denying their fellow humans their freedom or dignity? Or moving through the world in a posture of domination… rather than mutuality?
They aren’t feeling joy.
Nope.
They might get an occasional hint of pleasure, for something or another — likely something that they’ve paid for or demanded of others or hoarded.
But that pleasure is fleeting.
And it’s not joy.
Joy has a depth.
Joy has a reality to it.
Joy feels like a part of our being waking up.
Joy lightens our load.
Joy is one of the least complicated things that can give our lives meaning.
While writing this, I’ve been pausing off and on for a dance party to this song… and my goodness, the joy that has given me!
You can have this too.
You can seek out joy — every day. Many times a day, even.
I think you should.
Because you know what that does?
That gets LIFE moving through us. And yes, that may mean that the grief moves too. Or the sadness or anger. Or a frustration we’re dealing with. But also, we feel the joy. And we feel ALIVE.
And as hard as that can be…
… isn’t it all a miracle?
Isn’t it full of joy?
Community-Weaving for Fundraisers
Now is the time to reach out and connect with others. Life doesn’t have to be so hard. Your community is waiting for you! Advice when you need it. Been-there, done-thats. Commiseration. Support. A place to vent. Guidance and mentoring.
All of this, and more, is what I anticipate happening at Community-Weaving for Fundraisers. Just community-based fundraisers. Gathering for (virtual) lunch together. Twice a month. Year-round. Chatting and supporting each other via WhatsApp in between lunches. Being there for each other.
All you need to do is show up, be present… while I guide, facilitate, organize, and create the container.
Conversation: Your Response
Got more to say? Visit the comments section!
On-Demand Philanthropy Coaching
I know there are a lot of y’all fundraising these days (for mutual aid) that haven’t ever done this before. Would you like some help? Guidance? Support? From a social worker (MSW) and Certified Fundraising Executive (CFRE) who’s been doing this for almost two decades?
Sign up for an on-demand coaching session with me. Three lengths available to fit your needs (.5 hr | 1 hr | 1.5 hr).
50% of revenue will go straight to rent relief for our neighbors. The rest will provide me a bit of income. And you? You’ll be WELL on your way to fundraising better... and more of our neighbors will have their needs met through your increased skill.
Win-win-win... WIN!
PS: Note, this is a regular service I offer to professional fundraisers, so the wording on the webpage linked above may not seem to speak to you, if you’re a newbie fundraiser. No worries. I’ll meet you where you are.
PPS: As I said above, this service is, historically, primarily focused on PROFESSIONAL fundraisers... so if that’s you, I encourage you to jump on this win-win-win offer too!
Practice: Make It Yours
First, join me in this dance party.
Click here, or on the image below… turn up the volume… and just start MOVING YOUR BODY. Let go! DANCE!
Then, consider:
When do you feel most alive?
When you consider the word “joy,” what do you picture?
When’s the last time you remember feeling joy?
Whatever your answers to those questions are, go do those things.
Today. Tomorrow. And all the tomorrows after that one….
Inspiration: Wisdom to Mull Over
My hunch is that joy is an ember for or precursor to wild and unpredictable and transgressive and unboundaried solidarity. And that that solidarity might incite further joy. Which might incite further solidarity. And on and on. My hunch is that joy, emerging from our common sorrow — which does not necessarily mean we have the same sorrows, but that we, in common, sorrow — might draw us together. It might depolarize us and de-atomize us enough that we can consider what, in common, we love. And though attending to what we hate in common is too often all the rage (and it happens also to be very big business), noticing what we love in common, and studying that, might help us survive. It’s why I think of joy, which gets us to love, as being a practice of survival.
- Ross Gay, author of Inciting Joy and The Book of Delights
… and for even more joy from Ross, listen to this profoundly lovely On Being interview with him
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