The Reality We Live In
Do you know how much power we have to create it? Whatever we choose?
I just saw Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde on Christmas Eve.
And now I’m seeing her become a worldwide topic of conversation?
I find this interesting.
Let me back up a bit….
I’m not big on institutional religion.
While I grew up within the Catholic Church, and had many meaningful and growth-filled experiences there, I feel like they were just preparing me for something else. There was much about that church — and institutional religion in general — that rubbed me the wrong way.
Since my twenties, I’ve actively practiced meditation and studied spiritual teachings that are mystical in nature — which essentially means that they are the experiential, spiritual truths at the core of every world religion.
Still, since I went searching for a church in which to get married, I’ve attended Episcopal Churches too.
I appreciate having human-size, embodied, real-life community dedicated to spirituality in my life. We are always fed by being able to sing and pray and be with others who share similar values. And these people were there for us when I was going through my intensive cancer treatment.
That said, our current church home is a little parish on a lake, in the middle of the City of Lakes, where Bishop Budde served as the pastor for 18 years before she was called to Washington, DC, to serve at the National Cathedral.
We didn’t join St. John’s before she left, but we’ve been there when she’s visited us all. And visit us she did again, just this past Christmas Eve.
I remember glancing up to the front row and thinking I saw her sitting there. “Is that Bishop Budde?!” I asked my husband incredulously.
Sure enough, it was. I wondered why she wasn’t shepherding her flock out in D.C. on such a major religious holiday, but I know this is “home” to her, so I figured she had decided to be “home” for Christmas this year.
To have shared such an essential human experience as a Christmas Eve Midnight Mass with her, just a matter of days ago, and now see her face splashed all over every international media outlet — to see her both widely celebrated and maligned — is a bit weird…
… especially because what she did to earn that notoriety was about as pedestrian to me as putting on my pants one leg at a time.
In short, I can’t believe that what she did, what she said, is making her famous. Because what she said is one of the most basic teachings of one of the most major world religions. Nothing earth-shattering. Nothing new.
Of course, the fame rose from who she said it to.
Speaking Truth to Power
Our newly inaugurated U.S. president is a person who gets offended and outraged when a person tasked with ministering to him… ministers to him… and speaks the most basic teachings of her ministry to him, in a gentle voice… apparently?
And because the President of the United States (POTUS) is one of the most powerful people on Planet Earth, the people of Planet Earth are paying attention to this interaction — especially because most of us paying any attention, over the past number of years, know that he needed to hear that message.
And this is what I mean.
I have had so many powerful mystical experiences of this spiritual teacher called Jesus that I know him well by now.
And this Bishop was standing in his stead there.
100%.
If he were there, he’d have said the same.
For sure.
And the fact that this is such a big story, and that there has been such a big reaction to this interaction… tells us far more about ourselves than it tells us about anything else.
We humans are distracted…
… by so many things.
We are confused…
… by how much has changed, so quickly.
Our collective priorities are so warped…
… by generations of white supremacy; unfettered capitalism promoting monetary profit above all other considerations; a collective story driven almost entirely by the dynamics of settler colonialism and its drive for domination, for ownership of that which cannot actually be owned… and more… that we cannot see truth for truth, we cannot recognize leadership for leadership, and we respond to almost everything with out-sized emotional reactions, rather than measured, well-considered responses.
We are lost.
And we need to find our way again.
On Being
Here’s why our work here at For the Love of Humanity is at the level of being.
I pay attention.
I closely observe the world around me, and I don’t miss much.
And what I’ve been seeing — especially over the past decade — is that our collective consciousness is fracturing.
We humans, even though we might live within the exact same country, or neighborhood… even though we might share DNA… even though we all need the same eight hours of nightly sleep and nutritional sustenance to power our bodies… are starting to live in entirely different realities.
Because yes, of course we live on the exact same planet, or in the exact same country, or in the exact same city, or even the exact same family.
But somehow, we are not living in the same place.
Our beings (or souls, or spirits, or whatever language you prefer) are living within entirely different experiences, expectations, understandings, and conclusions — even when our bodies are side-by-side.
And I believe those differences can be demonstrated by spectrums of being.
Here’s how I’ve understood those spectrums of being, from one end (realities that see this POTUS as what our country, or even world, needs)… to the other (realities that feel called to resist everything this POTUS stands for).
Tough… vs. Gentle
This POTUS has cynically cultivated a “tough-guy” image. His language is tough. He responds to others in completely crass and callused ways. He shows no empathy. He cosplayed some kind of war hero when he prioritized standing up with a raised fist mere moments after a bullet whizzed by his head, bloodying his ear.
The other end of the spectrum is gentleness. Being a soft place for a struggling person to land. Speaking quietly — in language that is humble, loving. Taking others’ feelings and experiences to heart and responding with empathy. Truly caring about others well-being — including and especially their feelings and experiences. Being a person that others think of, and experience, as “safe” and kind.
Here to Win… vs. Here to Connect, Love
After hearing from him almost non-stop for almost a decade, we know that this POTUS prioritizes winning above all else. Winning is what he wants to be known for, what he wants to do. He wants to win so badly that he will not even accept when he has lost within a fair United States presidential election — so much so that he will instigate a violent insurrection and an attempted coup, even in the country that has, for generations, been held up as the pinnacle of democracy on this planet. He doesn’t care about any of that. He just wants to win.
The other end of the spectrum is being here to connect with others, to love. Seeing yourself as a small, integral part of a larger, interconnected whole. Knowing that the meaning of your life is in the relationships you have with others — not in how quickly you can stomp on and beat them. Prioritizing the well-being of those around you and doing everything within your power to support it. Seeking healing for yourself, and for others. Respecting and honoring others. Seeing and reinforcing the dignity of all of the other human beings around you.
Dominance… vs. Collaboration
This one is related to the one just before it. Our current POTUS has completely bought into a version of masculinity, of “success,” of life that sees dominance as the goal. Prevailing… overwhelming… taking over… controlling… oppressing… suppressing… repressing… seeing power-over as the only way power can be used.
The other end of the spectrum is collaboration, where power with others is the ideal model. All decisions happily involve many people. People understand their very human limitations — and they’re grateful for others who can fill in the gaps and add their own talents and perspectives into the mix. Feelings are welcome. Conversation is welcome. People are open with each other, honest. Relationships are prioritized.
Christian Hegemony… vs. Spirituality As Alternative to Empire
This current POTUS — and, perhaps more importantly, his supporters — seems convinced that Christian hegemony is the righteous way forward. They believe that this is supposed to be a Christian nation. That Christianity should be the one and only acceptable religion. Any other religion should most definitely be diminished — and maybe, even, eliminated? Of course, Christianity is the One Right Way. And somehow, despite all historical evidence pointing to the fact that our Founding Fathers birthed this country with a goal of religious freedom, they seem convinced that Christianity is supposed to be the national religion.
The other end of the spectrum is that spirituality is a direct alternative to empire — that, in fact, spirituality and empire cannot co-exist in the same space. In this worldview, a genuine spiritual practice necessitates humility; honesty; patience; kindness; mercy; cooperation; care… basically all of the qualities that are the opposite of those embodied in an empire. There is no empire in the spiritual world. There is no genuine spiritual truth in an empire.
Dismiss and Demean Others… vs. Take Care of Others
One of the things that has most alarmed people who don’t support this POTUS is the way that he so easily dismisses and demeans others. He is a known sexual predator. He has mocked people with disabilities. He insults women — or even people he just sees as “weak,” which of course his misogynistic worldview sees women as inherently. If anyone, including and especially a woman, dares to question him, they are “nasty”… or some other insulting descriptor. Really, though, no one is safe from his dismissal, demeaning, insults, or worse, if they dare to do anything but bow to him.
By contrast, the other end of the spectrum takes care of others. We know that every human being has worth and dignity. We understand that we are responsible for each other. If we see a fellow human being in need, we know that it is on us to respond. We understand that we all belong to each other. We respect each other. We honor each others’ dignity. We care for each other. Always.
One Person In Charge… vs. Council of Grandmothers
In the command-and-control worldview of this POTUS, the only way to lead is of course to be one Strong Man in charge. Orders must be obeyed. Everyone must fall in line. If you don’t fall in line, you’ll be summarily dismissed, or worse. An entire leadership apparatus is built on hierarchy, with just one person at the top. And the entire system of that hierarchy is set up to serve and obey that one person.
The other end of the spectrum is a more “Council of Grandmothers” style of leadership — one much more likely to be found in indigenous and/or non-Western cultures. A more feminine (inclusive, caring, collaborative) style of leadership is exercised here. And the power of leadership rests in a group, rather than one person. The group supports its individuals, and no one individual is allowed to dominate. Wisdom gained from life experience is highly valued, in this model — rather than the many other values that seem to determine leadership otherwise.
Boosting Ego… vs. Not About Me
The state-of-being of this POTUS is entirely ego-centric. Everything he does is about boosting his ego… stroking his ego… gratifying his ego… and so on. Everything he does is about him — even when he says otherwise. Have just a shred of spiritual sight, and you can see that that’s true.
The other end of the spectrum is an abiding understanding that nothing is about me — especially if I am in a leadership role where I am entrusted with others’ well-being and stewarding a mission or purpose much bigger than myself. I understand that leadership is about telling my ego to take a seat, because I know how much it muddies the waters and completely sidelines progress if it doesn’t.
What About You?
Can you see the clear contrasts between these different ends of the spectrum?
I hope so.
Where do you think you’d land, in your own behavior?
What do you prefer in those leading you?
To state the obvious, there is a big segment of the American population that completely eats up what POTUS is putting down — believing that this is what we want the people leading us to be like.
Then, there is another large segment of the population that is committed to the opposite end of the spectrum.
What about you?
What will you prioritize, going forward?
What will you consciously create?
Because you know that you have the power to create whatever reality you choose to create… right?
Lovely job of laying out these distinctions here. Thank you, Cecilia!