Read on….

For You: Today’s Main Course

Well, y’all, we did it!

We held the inaugural For the Love…! event last week at Black Garnet Books in Saint Paul, Minnesota.

We ate delicious food from Afro Deli.

We mingled with each other, drinking Somali tea, with soft music in the background… and then we sat down for a meaningful conversation with each other that opened our minds and hearts.

I brought a collection of candles from home… and cut flowers from my backyard garden, putting them in tiny vases I’ve collected over the years.

We definitely did it.

We had a dinner party!

BIG THANKS to our special guests and speakers, Mallory Mitchell and Jonathan C.W. Jones, for sharing so openly and powerfully with us and seeding our discussion.

And thank you again — so very much — to these three values-aligned businesses for taking a chance on this new, unproven experiment… and stepping in to partner with me and make it possible:

1. Remember Angela Schlessinger and Aspasia Collaborative when a nonprofit you're involved with needs help with board and/or organizational development, especially (these are her special passions/expertise)... but Angela was a nonprofit CEO, so she can help with so much, including fundraising of course.

2. Remember Donte Curtis and Catch Your Dream Consulting when you're looking for a keynote speaker, trainer, or facilitator to make your team or organization a better place to be for everyone. Also, here's your chance to pre-order Donte's book (Breaking the Cycle of White Supremacy) and support his Kickstarter, to make publishing the book possible. To be clear, this book doesn’t get published without our help. And it’s gonna be a good one, you can bet on it, based on how popular and in-demand Donte’s workshop by the same name is. Let’s help make this book a reality, shall we?!

3. Finally, BIG UPS to a longtime leader in our community who is now leading a new business venture, Bo Thao-Urabe of Rooted to Last — which you should seek out when you're looking for help rooting your work in the wisdom, relationships, and leadership of multi-generational social justice leaders.

To Give You a Taste…

Now, for those of you who couldn’t make it, here’s a taste of it all.

The arc of our discussion:

• We started our discussion with the “for the LOVE!” meaning of that phrase — you know, the one you shout out involuntarily when you JUST CAN’T EVEN with something, it’s just so bad… or painful… or frustrating? Yeah. That part. We started by sharing stories where Blackness was marginalized within philanthropy.

• We clarified that there was a difference between what many of us think of, when we use the word “philanthropy” (a system that has become an “industry” and is deeply steeped in the norms of our dominant culture, like White Supremacy Culture and anti-Blackness)… and a “philanthropy” that is much more attuned to the root meaning of that word (love of humanity). Jonathan even shared about understandings of philanthropy that existed before that Greek word (philanthropy) even existed, including what is thought of as the first existence of the concept in ancient Egypt. We wanted to be clear that there are vastly different meanings of this word, depending on the context.

• Our speakers ended their remarks by sharing stories of a Black version of philanthropy that was truly enacted for the LOVE of other humans… and to actively practice and grow community.

• Attendees then talked in small groups about all we had laid out.

• We closed with a larger group discussion.

Mallory and Jonathan started out by sharing stories about ways that they had been marginalized by anti-Blackness, within their work in the modern “industry” of nonprofits/philanthropy.

Mallory’s story illustrated more of the personal side of anti-Blackness, while Jonathan’s gave a damning look at systemic anti-Blackness.

You ready for these stories?

They’re a bit hard to stomach.

Mallory’s Story of Anti-Blackness

Mallory was hired as the Development Director of a nonprofit that was — wait for it — led by another community of color. (Yes, this means that the anti-Blackness she experienced was not at the hands of White folks.)

Within a few weeks of her arrival, a new hire suddenly arrived, someone who was essentially a peer, reporting to the Executive Director (ED) as she was, and focusing on program and operational things.

The fact of the new hire was a bit odd.

There hadn’t been any talk about a new hire, nor was she aware of any strategic reason for the hire. The woman just suddenly showed up one day.

When the ED first introduced them, Mallory realized that they already knew each other — because, alongside her work in the nonprofit sector, she has always maintained a side job for extra cash, and because she enjoys it, at a local wine shop. Her new colleague had been one of her “regulars” for a while. They both laughed at the realization, initially.

And after that point, it seemed like this woman (who was not White but could pass for White) had it in for Mallory.

For starters, she would make comments that definitely had plausible deniability… but that also definitely had the effect of marginalizing Mallory and her Blackness:

• A side comment about how the wine shop needed “good help” (which didn’t only come off to Mallory as calling her “the help,” as more than one colleague who overheard the comment checked in with Mallory afterward, as they had felt the energy behind the words too).

• An “auto-correct” in an email to Mallory that, instead of saying “cut and paste,” said “cotton paste” — of course potentially referencing the work of countless enslaved African Americans toiling in cotton fields, in our country’s history… and invoking Mallory’s literal relationship to them.

The insidious thing about comments like this is that, again, one can easily hear them and think, “Oh, she didn’t mean it that way.” And yet… there’s a good chance she did, and folks like Mallory are left feeling targeted and marginalized, regardless of what the actual intention was.

And then, there was an instance that was so blatant, there was no way to plausibly deny the animous, if you ask me….

Mallory had scheduled, and was leading, a virtual meeting with a funder.

This woman showed up to the meeting, late — even though her job was not actually related to development or fundraising.

On top of the general disruption and confusion of her showing up to a meeting she wasn’t needed at, you have to imagine the stress a Development Director like Mallory might feel, when a senior leader from her organization shows up late to a meeting with a funder (with whom she is responsible for managing the relationship, which of course involves making a good impression on them).

After she arrived, the woman greeted every single person in the Zoom room, by name, telling them she was looking forward to working with them.

Except Mallory.

She not only did not mention Mallory — the Development Director leading the meeting! — but she didn’t even acknowledge her presence.

Now, one cannot know everything happening in this situation.

There seems to be some classism at play.

This woman first knew Mallory in a retail service role, and she was seemingly unwilling to shift her relationship with Mallory to one of a colleague, a peer — one who had earned a graduate degree just like she did and definitely had lots of experience and expertise in the work she was leading at the organization.

There definitely seems to be anti-Blackness at play too, for many other reasons, not least of which was how she treated the Black clients of the org differently than she treated other clients.

But honestly?

The part that is even worse than the treatment by this woman…

… was how the Executive Director responded to it all.

She didn’t.

She basically ignored it.

She definitely witnessed it, as she was present in many of the scenarios. She even checked in with Mallory after some of them. Mallory also was clear with her about how these things were affecting her.

And she didn’t address it at all.

THIS has to be the most powerful anti-Blackness of it all.

How are any of these scenarios ever going to get better…

… if the leaders don’t LEAD?

If leaders within our field just…

• lean into the plausible deniability;

• don’t set a tone of respect and dignity for all on the team;

• don’t hold anyone who doesn’t follow that tone accountable;

• and act like they don’t actually have any power in a situation…

… that is a sure sign that nothing is ever going to change…

… and problems like anti-Blackness will just continue.

How can we be OK with that?

Jonathan’s Story of Anti-Blackness

We’ve all heard the statistics about how under-funded Black-led organizations are, right? Even after the 2020 uprising for racial justice and Black lives.

There are so many reports on the subject.

So many articles.

So many.

So many.

Jonathan has lived these reports and articles.

And he and his whole family have lived the stress it creates.

Jonathan started his career as an educator and school administrator, serving many years within local school districts.

At some point, he saw how few Black men like him there were within the field… and also how the few of them that did exist really struggled in a system that was definitely not built to support them.

So he decided to act.

He started reaching out to, and weaving community with, the many Black men he knew in the field of education — which then led him to others that those men knew.

He wanted to honor these men and their work in raising up the next generation, especially rising generations of Black children, who he knew were profoundly affected for the better by having teachers and mentors who they saw themselves in.

First, he published several magazine issues honoring these men — sharing beautiful, professional portraits of them; telling their stories; celebrating them and their work; introducing them to each other.

Then, the men started telling him how much they thought more support for their brothers in education was necessary.

So Jonathan established a 501c3, the UpLiFT Movement, that would operationalize a mentoring program (paid, which critically respects the time and expertise of both mentors and mentees, in addition to their need to support themselves and their families with their time and expertise).

Through the program, newer Black male educators would be paired with more seasoned educators who could support and guide them through the difficulties of their days, weeks, months, and years.

So critical, right?!

So necessary.

Not only is this program critical for the educators themselves, helping them to not only survive in, but thrive in, a difficult environment.

But even more, when these educators are thriving, they are that much more equipped to help rising generations of Black kids soar too — as those kids are taught and inspired by elders who come from where they come from, who help them see how much they can be, just by being it themselves.

The program’s success can be proven by its data.

But perhaps most tellingly demonstrating the program’s success, participants in the program are the most reliable source of new recruits, because they talk so powerfully and passionately about their positive experiences.

Clearly this is a winning, necessary mission… right?

But you wouldn’t be able to tell that by the funding.

You ask me?

This program is a slam dunk for funding.

But that’s not the reality.

UpLiFT struggles to bring in the dollars needed to run the organization — and, given that Jonathan left his education job to run the organization full-time, betting on himself and the mission he could see was so successful and necessary, that means that he’s feeling the stress of not being able to adequately support his family, and his family is feeling that stress too.

Now, don’t get this twisted.

Jonathan is a good grant writer.

He actually learned that skill as an educator — winning grants for the programs he was running in his school districts. In fact, he was so good at it that he started a side business where he would teach other educators how to do the same.

Also, as I’ve mentioned, they’ve got plenty data to prove how effective and necessary their program and mission are.

And get this!

UpLiFT applied to the state’s Department of Education for support and actually won a significant grant from them — mostly unheard of for small orgs like theirs.

They celebrated so hard!

… except…

They only came to find out after the grant was awarded that it was a reimbursable grant — meaning they needed to front the money before they could ever see any dollars come through from the state.

So, here Jonathan sits.

Getting grant rejection after grant rejection.

Being chosen for a cohort from a local org called GiveMN — celebrate again! — that would help them work with their board to stage a giving campaign during our state’s massive day of fundraising for nonprofits and schools, called Give to the Max Day. And yet, seeing next-to-no results when the fundraising day came around.

Having thousands of dollars that they could be receiving from the state…

… just sitting there, as they struggle to find other money first.

Make it make sense!

Again, there’s plausible deniability here. You may hear this story and think, “Well, there must be other reasons than anti-Blackness why this is happening.” But then, you’d have to realize:

• brilliant founder

• sorely needed mission

• receipts to prove the work’s success

• directly affects our community’s future by raising up the next generation and helping prepare them to thrive and help our communities thrive

• even an unusual state grant awarded

… and yet…

… they can barely keep the lights on.

You’re reaching, if you’re looking for any other reason why this mission is not prioritized and generously funded by many institutions and individuals…

… because you just can’t find it.

NOTE: I highly encourage you to support the UpLiFT Movement by giving to them today. Starting a monthly gift is the BEST way you can do that, as it gives them reliable, ongoing income for their work! And remember: your gift(s) allow(s) that state money to start flowing….

And Finally, Our Breath of Fresh Air: Black Philanthropy

After all of that…

… the frustration…

… the struggle…

… the stress…

… the self-doubt…

… the anti-Blacknes of it all, experienced by these two brilliant, big-hearted, deeply committed, community-serving professionals who would never have experienced any of this if they weren’t also Black…

… we were ready to be inspired.

Both Mallory and Jonathan had many stories about the Black Philanthropy they had experienced throughout their lives.

But they both chose one story to share.

Mallory told us about her experiences growing up in a Black church in rural Alabama. They had a program in their church called the “Love Program.” Don’t you just love that name?! This was basically the church community's way of rallying around an individual or family when they really needed it (help with rent; a sickness; some other thing). They'd have a gathering in the gym; break bread together; raise money; and raise whatever resources were needed. Anybody and everybody at the church could be blessed by a "Love Program." Many-to-most members were.

Jonathan talked about his experiences in a Black fraternity, which he joined while an undergrad at the HBCU Xavier University in New Orleans, Louisiana. Not only do he and his fraternity brothers raise serious amounts of money to support Black students and their dreams of higher education, but they regularly support each other. If one of the brothers is ever struggling for any reason (job loss; sickness; family emergency; whatever), the brothers rally around him and lift him up.

Do you feel the difference in these stories?

Instead of bias…

… lack…

… stress…

… alienation…

… struggle…

… power games…

… lack of leadership…

… lack of heart…

… coldness…

… and a lack of community…

… we get to experience the opposite of those things.

Black philanthropy is…

• all-inclusive

• loving

• community-minded

• compassionate

• uplifting

• abundant

• empathetic

• leader-full

• human-focused

• warm

• nurturing

• collaborative

• collective

• grounded in connection

• helps everybody participating truly experience being a part of something bigger than themselves that really matters…

… and so much more.

Black Philanthropy is the blueprint, y’all.

Black Philanthropy is how I want to experience philanthropy. Don’t you?

Black Philanthropy is what philanthropy was always meant to be.

With this post, I’m closing out my own celebration of Black Philanthropy Month this August — but I don’t plan on waiting until next August to keep celebrating it.

I’m asking you to join me.

Let’s celebrate Black Philanthropy year-round, shall we?

And let’s also decide that we’re going to end anti-Blackness within the professional field of work that is the “industry” of philanthropy/nonprofits, once and for all.

You in?

Conversation: Your Real Real

I really want to know your more detailed and nuanced thoughts, too. Let’s start a conversation on this topic. Visit the comments section!

Leave a comment

Practice: Make It Yours

Look around you.

Where in your life can you embody and enact philanthropy like you see it being embodied and enacted in Mallory and Jonathan’s stories of Black Philanthropy?

Ask yourself:

• Who can you help?

• How can you organize the help?

• Who will help with you?

• How will you grow community while helping?

• And perhaps most importantly, how can you ask for help from your community when you are the one who needs it?

Don’t think too much.

Just see a need, and act.

Then, afterward…

… reflect on how the acting blessed you.

A Gift for You: Something to Sit With

All the Details You Need

➡️ Join us for this inaugural For the Love…! event, the start of what will be a series of down-to-earth gatherings and discussions focused on things that bother us about our current lives together in community... and how we'd like to see them change for the better. We're making a new world, here — together.

➡️ This first event is celebrating Black Philanthropy Month — which is a global celebration observed every August to recognize, amplify, and invest in Black-led giving, funding equity, and community change. Founded in 2011 by Dr. Jackie Bouvier Copeland, the movement highlights financial, time, and talent contributions across the African diaspora… and is now the largest global movement for Black philanthropy.

Get your ticket(s) here!

➡️ Wednesday, August 26th | 6:30-8:30 PM @ Black Garnet Books

➡️ Our delicious dinner will be from Afro Deli.

➡️ We will have a conversation featuring insights and stories from our special guests Mallory Mitchell and Jonathan C.W. Jones... and explore how we can all embrace Black philanthropy more.

➡️ More re: Mallory: Rapidly emerging as a sought-after keynote speaker, Mallory Mitchell is redefining fundraising leadership with her radically warm, community-centric approach. As the co-founder of Aligned Strategy Group, she's sparked transformational change nationwide by challenging the rules that hold fundraisers back. With experience spanning major gifts to development director roles, Mallory creates light bulb moments that shift cultures toward abundance and equity. Her commitment to advancing racial equity earned her the 2021 National Philanthropy Day Award from AFP Minnesota. Featured in the Chronicle of Philanthropy and a former University of Minnesota adjunct professor, Mallory provides practical wisdom to help nonprofit leaders claim their confidence in fundraising.

➡️ More re: Jonathan: A seasoned community leader, Jonathan C.W. Jones is a Minnesota-based champion of representation, mentoring, and support in education for communities of color. He is the founder and Executive Director of the UpLiFT Movement, CEO of Ideation4, and an educator and administrator who has served in multiple schools in the Twin Cities area. While he earned his M.Ed. in Special Education and Teaching from Penn State University, and a K-12 Principal Administrative Licensure and Certificate in Educational Leadership and Administration from the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities, he is an especially proud alum of Xavier University of Louisiana, an HBCU based in New Orleans.

Get your ticket(s) here!

➡️ Our Agenda: While eating your delicious dinner in this lovely setting, you’ll have a chance to hear stories and insights from Mallory and Jonathan, about their experiences in the world of philanthropy… and you’ll also have a chance to join the discussion! In small and larger group discussion, we’ll unpack ways that Black philanthropy can become something we all embrace more.

➡️ Who This Is For: This gathering is for anyone who cares about working for better communities, in community — which is hopefully everyone reading this! We especially welcome people who are actively participating in the “industry” of the modern-day system of philanthropy (from fundraisers, to individual and family donors, to business-based community relations folks, to foundation founders or staffers or board members, to nonprofit board members, to nonprofit staffers, etc.). We want YOU to come… but if you can’t for whatever reason, please share this opportunity with folks who you think should be there! Thank you! 🙏🏻

Get your ticket(s) here!

In addition to essential support from Mission Growth Partners, this event is made possible by our sponsoring partner, Aspasia Collaborative.

MANY THANKS to the founder of Aspasia, Angela Schlesinger, for her enthusiastic support of this gathering.

Angela and Aspasia should be your first call when you need help reimagining your nonprofit board — especially if that process is related to your fundraising needs, which she also deeply understands!

Read on to find out more….

For You: Today’s Main Course

There were people who said that we were living in a “post-racial” society, as soon as Barack Obama was elected President of the United States.

And yet…

➡️ Just this week, nearly twenty years later, a racist comment at a widely publicized event at the White House, denigrating his wife’s appearance (essentially questioning her feminine beauty), ricocheted around the world. And that is on the heels of the current President of the United States amplifying a social media post, a few weeks back, comparing both Obama and his wife to apes. And those two instances are just two of many instances of intense racism against them over the years.

There are people who say that “the police keep us safe.”

And yet…

➡️ Just this week, a one-year-old Black baby was shot dead by police, for no reason other than they thought they were responding to a theft of diapers (really?! really. this is your response for that?!) and cavalierly shot into the car his mother was driving away from a store. And I have completely lost count of the senseless police killings of Black folks right here in my own community — we just have so many, including the renowned George Floyd — and that is just one city in one state. And so few folks seem to know that our current-day policing is actually a hold-over from the model of slave patrols hunting down Black people in our country.

There are so many people who think that nonprofits and philanthropy are beyond reproach, “doing good,” and helping people.

And yet…

➡️ Though there is help happening through these efforts, there is quite a lot of harm too, not the least of which is a good deal of anti-Blackness. There is the persistent problem of the “pet to threat” continuum, experienced especially by Black women. Or there’s this report from Candid that shows 1) Black CEOs tend to lead smaller organizations with limited financial resources; 2) White-led nonprofits control 30 times more sector-wide revenue than Black-led nonprofits; and more. Or there’s the stories you will hear, when you’re in relationship with Black professionals, as I am: confounding leadership decisions that marginalize them; plausibly deniable racist comments from colleagues or donors or board members; way more struggle than should be necessary to secure adequate funding for Black-led efforts; etc.

Y’all, the anti-Blackness is deep here.

And we need to address it.

Or we have to admit that we’re just cosplaying the work we say we’re doing, of building a better world together.

Today is Juneteenth — now a national holiday in this country, thanks to the advocacy of many people, but especially of Opal Lee, who finally convinced President Joe Biden to sign the federal holiday into law five years ago.

This day doesn’t just celebrate freedom in general.

More to the point, it celebrates the overwhelming and uplifting relief and jubilation felt by a people who had been inescapably trapped in chattel slavery for generations…

… and who were suddenly free of those heavy, seemingly never-ending, violent, and oppressive chains.

Just feel into that for a moment.

And then, feel into how demoralizing and heavy it is… to realize that the freedom has only ever been partial… and that there are still many shades of oppression coloring the face of the country they write their life stories within, even (and especially) in the places that like to pretend they’re enlightened and “woke.”

So.

In honor of Juneteenth this year, I’m announcing the first event of a new event series I’ll be experimenting with in the months to come:

• Thursday, July 30th

• 6:30-8:30PM

• Black Garnet Books | St. Paul, Minnesota

• Check the link out for the info and to get your ticket. 👆🏻And hurry, there aren’t many tickets available!

For the Love…! is both a new event series and a new Section of this publication — where you can stay in the loop with all of the happenings.

For the Love…! will both examine problems we’re currently experiencing, in our collective lives together... and also lean into the magic and wisdom of community, to start talking about solutions for these problems.

“For the love!” is a phrase many of us shout when we’re frustrated with something, yes? I know I sure do!

At the same time, “for the love” can be a phrase guiding us, as we live our lives — a value system that puts love at the center of everything we do.

We will use both meanings in these gatherings, as we come together and really collaborate to address the issues constructively.

I really can hardly imagine anything better than this.

Community.

Good food.

Meaningful discussion.

Working toward a better world.

Together.

I hope you’re excited about this too.

And I hope that, if you’re local, you’ll join us.

Go ahead and get your ticket today!

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Conversation: Your Real Real

I really want to know your more detailed and nuanced thoughts, too. Let’s start a conversation on this topic. Visit the comments section!

Leave a comment

Practice: Make It Yours

If you want to get serious about healing anti-Blackness in nonprofits and philanthropy, it’s time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Even more, it’s time to get comfortable with honesty.

We aren’t often honest, in our dominant culture. We blithely pretend things are true that are not. Or we ignore things that are true, hoping they’ll go away. Or we impose our own reality on what’s true, strong-arming it, willing it to be different than it is.

We can’t keep doing this, if we want to see change.

We must get comfortable with honesty — even when it hurts, even when it makes us uncomfortable, even if we’d rather do anything else in the moment.

So.

What’s something you’ve been dishonest about — with yourself, with others?

How can you change that?

Notice how you feel, when you try this.

Can you sit with the discomfort?

Can you simply be present to it?

If yes, how does that change you?

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Closing Thought: Something to Sit With

You were born where you were born and faced the future that you faced because you were Black and for no other reason. The limits of your ambition were, thus, expected to be set forever.

You were born into a society which spelled out with brutal clarity, and in as many ways as possible, that you were a worthless human being.

You were not expected to aspire to excellence: you were expected to make peace with mediocrity.

— James Baldwin